I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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