I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
