I cockslap morals
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Randomize
