Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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