I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
