Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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