If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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