eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
