Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
