I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
