I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize