Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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