I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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