Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Boobs are out for the taking
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I need to calm my uterus...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
