i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
