i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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