Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
