I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
