So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
