My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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