I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
