Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!