Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
