Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
