you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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