I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
