White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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