Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
