hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
