recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
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I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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