fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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