Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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