i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
