margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
