oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
