You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The air taste purple.
Randomize
