Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
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