Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Found your dick twin last night
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
