did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
