Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
