awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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