so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
