She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
