If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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