I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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