i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
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she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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