I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
