i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
