Non-Jews are for practice
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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