Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i out mim tonsoeep
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