Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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