Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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