Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
