ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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