she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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