ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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