There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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