So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
