I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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