she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Who died my cat blue again?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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