Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize