Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
