you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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