Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
two words...techno handjob
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
