you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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