i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
