Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
