it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
