Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
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But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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